Discovery of Ourselves
by StarsAreMyOcean
Summary: 30 Day OTP Challenge. Kirk/Spock. End of STID to post-STID. A series of short scenes written to get a feel for the characters and use these as a basis for a future story. I wanted to write something that deals with the struggles of the events of STID and offers a logical start to the K/S relationship without trashing Uhura (she's awesome). Cross posted to AO3 and Tumblr.
1. Day 01 - Holding Hands

McCoy mulled about the hospital room, mumbling to himself as he always does when Jim does something stupid and finds himself incapacitated. How many times had he called him a reckless idiot and said that one day that behavior was going to get him killed? 'Too many damn times,' he thought. Though he understood the reasoning behind Kirk's actions, he believed that had the man slowed down he would have found a better solution. He took a quick reading and found that Jim's vitals were stable. A good sign considering he had just taken a trip to death and back. All that was left to do was wait for him to fight his way back to consciousness. A soft hiss of the doors pulled McCoy from his musings. Turning around, he was greeted to the sight of the _Enterprise_'s first officer, Spock.

"He's not awake Spock. I told you I'd comm you whenever anything changed."

"I believe you informed me that you would 'keep me updated' every couple hours. As I had not received any communications in the past ten point three hours, I thought it wise to ascertain the condition of Captain Kirk myself."

McCoy's lips tightened and his eyebrow twitched. He bit back his usual slew of remarks, deciding now was not the right time to poke too much at the Vulcan. Everyone aboard the _Enterprise _remembers the last time someone poked at him at an inappropriate time, even if the fool was doing it on purpose. But there was one thing he would not tolerate and that was being told he was not doing some part of his job satisfactorily.

"Now listen here, it's stressful enough dealing with the shit that fool did to himself. I don't need you coming in here complaining 'bout my lack of communications with you. I'll make sure to keep you updated on important changes, of which there have been none. Spock, yea he's stable but he's still in a coma and until he wakes up I don't have anything else to tell you."

His eyes were wide and his eyebrows nearly touched the top of his forehead. The blank face looking back at him did not improve his mood so he turned his back towards the officer. Spock crossed the room silently and stood at the end of the bed, looking down on Jim.

"It was not my intention to cause you additional and undue stress doctor. I simply am aware that you check on the captain every two point five hours and thought you would send along a brief memo regarding those observational periods."

Feeling like a petulant child, McCoy returned the charts and scanners to their proper place and quickly moved to the door.

"Well, now you have your update. Visiting hours are ending soon but there's only one nurse on this shift that's a stickler for those hours and I do remember promising her a date with one of Starfleet's finest doctors. Seems like a good time to ask her if she'd like dinner."

With that final remark, McCoy departed the room and the doors slid back to the closed position. Spock moved to the chair that sat next to Jim's bed. For a few moments, he sat there in his usual stiff-backed and folded hands manner trying to regain composure. He greatly appreciated the doctor's restraint, suspecting the doctor recalled the time he beat Jim bloody on the bridge of the _Enterprise_, but the stress of the entire situation cut under his skin. His lids fell heavily closed over his eyes as he slipped into momentary meditative thought.

Several heartbeats later, he opened his eyes and turned his attention upon his captain, upon this man who was able to so effortlessly tear emotions from his very core. Unlacing his long, slender fingers from each other, they reached for the tumble of sheets Jim's hands rested upon. Finding what they sought, he delicately raised the still hand and entwined their hands in an embrace. A gentle thrum beat through that contact. Spock's lips gently quirked, breaking the usually expressionless face.

"On your planet, this holding of the hands is merely an expression of affection for an individual. For Vulcans, it is a sign of a much deeper bond."


	2. Day 02 - Cuddling Somewhere

Jim awoke with a start. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and beads of sweat fell from their perch upon his brow to rest on an already soaked t-shirt collar. Willing reluctant arms to his face, he wiped the inky stains of nightmares from his eyes and welcomed the gentle glow of his room now washing over his eyes. It had been a week since he had come out of his coma and the majority of those nights had been a sleepless tragedy.

Sleep, a place where he once sought solitude, calm and rest had become a dark place for James T. Kirk. Death lurked in the deepest corners of his mind and waited for him to succumb to sleep so it could dance around in his head, sending fear straight to his heart.

Awake, Jim could appreciate life and the small miracles that came of that state. Like right now, he was more than happy to no longer be in the intensive care wing with the constant beeping of monitors and rushing of feet to attend to some poor soul. While not too happy to still be in the hospital, he was happy to be in a more private two room suite on a quiet corner of the building and even more happy to be sharing it with his suave first officer.

The whole _Enterprise_ crew had been grounded until further notice by Starfleet officials in order to offer all crew members the medical attention they required and to sort through the mess created by Khan and Admiral Marcus. The majority of the crew was being put up in hotel rooms until better arrangements could be made while others found repose in their city apartments and suburban homes. On a whim, Jim had offered the small spare room in his hospital suite to Spock, hoping that his friend would keep him company, not even thinking that he might have already made arrangements with Uhura. Even more surprising than hearing the words escaping his lips was the acceptance of the proposition by Spock.

His breath slipped into a normal rhythm and his heart was no longer drumming a path to war. There was only one thing in the world Jim wanted right now and that was a walk to clear his head. It was a painfully slow process getting his body moving and in a sitting position at the edge of his bed. Slowly lifting himself from the bed, he stabilized himself on his feet and took a few steps. 'I can do this,' he thought as his turned and headed towards the closet, looking to change shirts before making a short trek around the wing. His plans were foiled moments before reaching the closet when his legs gave out underneath him and he crashed loudly into the doors.

"Shit!"

* * *

Spock was ripped from his restful sleep by the sound of something, or someone, violently encountering a hard surface. It took him less than five seconds to realize the sound came from the captain's room. Discarding his blankets, he cleared the distance between his bed and the door dividing the two rooms in almost no time. With a quick swipe on the security pad, the door hissed open. In his rush, he almost stumbled over Jim, who was now sprawled on the floor and swearing vehemently at his legs. Spock's eyes widened in horror and he dropped to Jim's side in order to better evaluate the situation. Ceasing his swearing, Jim caught Spock's gaze and could see the worry and anger lying just underneath the surface of the Vulcan's eyes.

"Spock, I'm fine, I just fell." Jim radiated innocence as best he could but his attempts were futile. Spock saw right through the facade.

"You are not, in fact, fine. Based upon the fact that you are no longer lying in your bed as you should be, you were attempting to do something which you have been advised against doing on your own on many occasions by Dr. McCoy and numerous nurses."

"What do they know? All I need to do is get some walking in and I'll be good as new in no time at all."

"They spent a great many years in medical school perfecting their art and learning proper protocol and procedure, as such they are considerably more knowledgeable than you when it comes to recovery. While I understand your desire to get your muscular strength back as soon as possible, I cannot condone your decision to attempt such a task alone, even more so when those attempts have the potential to lead to bodily harm."

"Well lucky you. You're here now so I'm not alone anymore now am I?" a small grin lit across his face.

"While that might be true, I will not permit you to stress yourself anymore than you have already insisted upon doing." Spock pressed his hand on Jim's shoulder, as if daring him to make a move contrary to what Spock wanted.

"Fine, you win."Jim raised his hands in mock defeat. He might not believe in no-win scenarios but all the time he spent with Spock in the past couple years had taught him when to admit he had lost an argument. "If you're done lecturing me, professor, I could you please get me a clean shirt from the closet and give me a hand."

Carefully walking around his fallen captain, Spock reached into one of the closet drawers and extracted a new shirt per Jim's request. Jim switched shirts and sighed in appreciation of the clean, dry shirt now brushing against his skin. Moments later, Spock slid one arm under Jim's knees and grabbed around his waist with the other, hoisting the man effortlessly from the floor.

"Dammit Spock, I meant help me stand not carry me!"

"I am ensuring that you are safely returned to your bed and do not attempt additional foolish antics. It is currently zero one thirty-two and you should be resting instead of roaming the hallways."

"Well I won't be getting any more sleep tonight, so bring me to the couch so I can look out the window." His tone flattened and shadows clouded his eyes.

"That is acceptable." Arriving at the couch occupying the corner of Jim's room, Spock delicately laid him upon the not so comfortable cushions and assumed a place next to the arm of the couch, arms wrapped behind his back. Jim rolled his eyes and silently shook his head noting his first officer was more stubborn than he previously believed.

"I'm not going anywhere. If you insist on staying here, sit." he patted the space to his right. "The position of watchdog has already been filled by a stubborn old man name Bones." Jim stared out the glass and into the glowing haze of an early morning city. He smiled when he felt the weight shift on the couch.

"Permission to speak freely, captain."

"Spock, you just carried me across the room like a damsel in distress. We're friends, we're not on duty and please, it's Jim. Say whatever it is you want."

"Is there a particular reason that you did not wish to return to sleep? By my calculations, you have not received adequate levels of sleep and especially considering you are supposed to be resting and recovering I find this quite troubling."

"It's not easy for me to sleep right now." Jim paused, gathering his thoughts. "Sleep is too much like death. It's dark and lonely. I don't want to be alone right now. Not after having gone through hell and not being able to reach the ones I care most about." Ice glittered in the depths of those blue eyes, threatening to shatter the fake calm. Silence weighed heavily in the room.

"Please, stay here tonight Spock. I don't mean to be a burden, but I don't want to be alone."

"I will always be here for you, Jim." Spock reached his hand towards Jim and Jim reciprocated the action. Jim leaned against Spock, finding the contact his body and mind desperately needed. A warm tingle filled his body knowing that at least for tonight he was not alone.

"Thank you."

* * *

At zero seven-hundred, Leonard McCoy walked through the door to Jim's room for his first morning check. Panic flooded his veins when he found the bed empty.

"Where the hell is that fool boy?" He blurted out looking rapidly around the room to see if he had decided to get up before paging security and the nurses. His eyes finally found an anomaly, a dark-haired, pointy-eared individual lightly sleeping on a couch in the corner. Tip-toeing over to the corner, he came upon his captain and first officer curled together in comfort.

At some point in those early morning hours, Jim had finally fallen into peaceful sleep. His head now rested on the slight valley at the center of Spock's chest arms resting limply where they found space. Spock's arms had worked their way around Jim's waist and shoulders in a protective embrace. Shaking his head McCoy walked out of the room setting the 'do not disturb' lock behind him. He would come back in a few hours when the two finally woke to do his usual morning exams. Right now, he needed to find Sulu and give him the fifty credits he owed him to a lost bet.


	3. Day 03 - Gaming

"Dammit Bones! Do you get some kind of sick pleasure sticking me with those things all the time?" Jim shot a violent look to McCoy and narrowed his eyes at the hypospray in his hand.

"Well Jim, if you stopped getting hurt all the time it wouldn't be an issue, now would it?" After switching out the vials, he crossed his arms and poised for his next strike.

"You know you love seeing my pretty face all the ti-DAMMIT!" McCoy smirked as he found the perfect opportunity to jab Jim again.

"I can only take so much of your face before I just want to punch it. Since that would be damn unprofessional, this'll have to do." A smug look shone on his face, eyebrows raised in satisfaction. A giggle from the nurse standing at McCoy's side earned her a sweet smile from the doctor as he handed her the empty vials and hypospray. She eyed the doctor head to toe before departing the room with a lustful grin.

"Right and hitting on the nurses is so professional?" Jim rolled his eyes.

"Do you want another hypo?" McCoy glared at him, his facial features suddenly rigid. Evaluating that expression for a minute, Jim decided to change topic since it was not worth risking another hypo.

"So when am I allowed out of this hell-hole?" he questioned with a great sigh.

"When I sign off on it and right now, you're pissing me off so who knows when that will be. Oh don't give me that look, at least you've got the hobgoblin to keep you company." His eyes jerked towards the door to Spock's room.

"He's been meditating a lot the past couple days so he hasn't been much company." Jim stared blankly at the door.

"I'd be avoiding you too if I woke up with you wrapped around me like paper on a present." Jim's eyes widened in disbelief and he heaved a pillow at the McCoy's head. The doctor caught the pillow before it met its intended target. "Real mature kid."

"How the hell...you didn't tell anyone about that did you? Last thing I need is Uhura coming here and giving me a reason to stay in this damn hospital."

"I don't like messing in other people's business but I don't think that will be a problem." Jim's face twisted in confusion and his mouth dropped open slightly with no words to be found. "That's a rare occurrence, Jim Kirk speechless. Well, contrary to your belief, I do have other patients that I need to attend to. I'll see you tomorrow." Jim barely nodded in response to McCoy's farewell wave.

He was completely confused, either Bones wasn't making sense or a lot happened while he was out. Could be both, but he wasn't in the mood for trying to understand what was happening. Jim carefully made his way across the room so as not to repeat the incident of a few nights ago, positioning himself against the wall when he reached the door. The security pad was locked so he buzzed a couple times to see if Spock was interested in a game of chess.

* * *

At the edge of his consciousness, Spock could hear the entry request alert softly singing its tune. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, he turned his thoughts from his inner turmoil outward to the barren room he was currently occupying. Another breath and his eyes opened, adjusting to the soft light filtering into the room from the windows. An inaudible sigh pressed from his mouth, expelling the frustration of being pulled out of meditation, no matter how unproductive the meditation had been. He was still trying to understand the reasons which Nyota had given him for the termination of their relationship.

At the second buzzing of the alert, he removed himself from his comfortable nest and strode across the room. Quickly keying in his lock code, the door whooshed aside to reveal Jim against the wall, smile radiant as ever.

"Good evening captain."

"Hey Spock, any chance you brought a chess set with you?" he shifted from his place on the wall to stand further in the doorway in anticipation of a response.

"Indeed I did. Is Doctor McCoy aware that you are walking about freely again instead of resting?"

"Pretty sure he gave me the idea so yes." Jim squinted and pushed out his lips in contemplation. "Anyways, I promise I'm not taking off on some long walk. Just over here for a quick game if you have time."

"It would be impossible for me to convince you otherwise once you have made a decision." Spock took a step to the side to allow Jim to pass.

"You're learning." Jim flashed a toothy smile and patted Spock on the shoulder as he walked past the Vulcan. Spock stayed two steps behind Jim on the journey to the table and chairs just in case he needed to catch him. They arrived at the seating area free of falls and Spock burrowed into his suitcase to locate the board he had packed.

"I unfortunately do not have the full sized set three dimensional set that we normally play with since the case for it was too large to include in this bag. I hope this will suffice." He grasped a small, old, wooden board that appeared to fold in half to store the pieces inside.

"Wow, that's quite a board. Where did you find one like that?" Jim stared curiously at the board, not realizing that Spock had paused to catch his breath.

"It was a gift…a gift from my mother." His fingers gently opened the metal clasps and he ceremoniously pulled the pieces out one by one. "I too questioned the origins of the board since its styling was most peculiar to me. She explained to me that during the term of her mother's pregnancy with her, her father carved every piece and crafted the board with the intentions of one day passing the board to his child." Once all the pieces were removed, he flipped the board to its correct orientation and began placing the pieces on their appropriate starting block.

"On her fifth birthday he gifted my mother the set and began to teach her the game. She was a most formidable opponent, even besting some of the Vulcans who condemned her for her human heritage. She gifted me the board when I accepted enrollment at Starfleet Academy, a gesture which I did not fully appreciate at the time." He placed the final queen on the board and took a seat opposite Jim, whose bright blue eyes pierced Spock.

"It sounds like your mom was a wonderful woman." He looked down to the board once again. "You start." At that comment, Spock moved a pawn from the center of his line.

"She was always there to comfort me during difficult times, of which there were many." Jim mirrored Spock's move which was quickly met by Spock's next calculated move.

* * *

Three games later, Jim stretched his arms high above his head. The warm natural light of a setting sun had been replaced by the artificial glow of city lights. Spock packed up the board and the pieces while Jim glanced out the window and up into space. How he longed to return to the _Enterprise_ and his crew.

"Damn, it feels good to play again. Next time I will win a game." Jim rubbed his tired eyes and moved to head back to his room. "Thanks again Spock." His eyes danced like water in the depths of a shallow pool as he waved goodnight to his first officer.

Just as he had when Jim had walked into the room, Spock followed him out mere steps behind.

"You are most welcome Captain…Jim." After Jim's departure, Spock settled back into the nest of blankets and pillows he had created days ago for meditation. There was much he needed to focus upon: Uhura, friendships, relationships and Jim.


	4. Day 04 - On A Date

If Jim had learned one thing from his academy days, looking pathetic for long enough would get you almost anywhere with Leonard McCoy and this evening it got his ass out of the hospital. Granted, it was only for one afternoon and he had been given a curfew of twenty one hundred but hey, a few hours of freedom were better than none. Spock had walked in on the tail end of the debate at which point Jim asked if he was interested in accompanying him. Receiving a yes from Spock and a nasal snort and an under-the-breath 'well of course' from McCoy, which Jim ignored, Jim began the task of figuring out the best way to spend the evening.

Around sixteen hundred, the duo departed the hospital. Just outside, Jim threw his head back and greeted the sweet afternoon breeze like a long-lost friend. His eyes fluttered closed and he inhaled deeply, reaching his arms towards the sky in a full-body stretch. The feeling of the evening sun and the smell of the fresh air was a stark contrast to the temperature neutral and highly sterile atmosphere of the hospital and Jim was making sure to drink every second of his temporary reprieve. Standing silently at his side, Spock watched and a subtle feeling of contentment flowed from Jim and settled in Spock.

If he had to describe the precise moment when he was aware that the relationship between the captain and himself had changed, he would forever reflect upon the fiercely blue eyes looking up at him from the floor of a sealed containment chamber. Upon the normally bright eyes darkened with death and the wildly expressive face frozen still. The void that suddenly filled him when Jim's conscious no longer filled a space within his own was overwhelming and consumed every logical thought left in his mind as he hunted down the man responsible for the act. How long such a relation had existed, Spock was still meditating upon but based upon what he had discovered so far, it had begun sometime in that first year of acquaintance with Jim. For now, he was contented to have his captain, his Jim, returned.

Dinner was in the plans for the evening but before then, Jim desperately needed a head-clearing walk. Over the past couple weeks, his reason for needing such a walk had evolved. Initially, it was because of the nightmares that death had planted in his head but now it was of feelings he had developed for a certain pointy-eared first officer. Feelings which Bones informed him had been on display for the world to see for years, half the crew had bets related to the pair. How was it that someone as brilliant as him could be so stupid and blind about something as simple as attraction towards another? It bothered him that it took a raw emotion and a glass wall separating the two for him to realize his feelings. Jim hoped that he could confront Spock in a less dramatic manner this time.

Two silent hours later, Jim was done wandering the streets of San Francisco and the pathways of his mind. Spock was still only steps behind him and had graciously allowed him both the time and space to do so.

"I'm hungry, want to get some dinner?" Jim tossed the question over his shoulder and Spock picked up his pace until he matched stride with Jim.

"If you are currently requiring nourishment, I would not be opposed to stopping for a meal, my only request is for a location which offers vegetarian options."

"While I was on my PADD earlier, I found a little place you might enjoy. They're famous for serving dishes from all corners of the galaxy, their menu even had a section of Vulcan dishes." Jim smiled with pride at the findings of his research.

"I was unaware that such a place existed in this city."

"One of the perks of being a city with a Starfleet headquarters I suppose. It has rave reviews so I hope it's something you like." Turning another corner, they faced a bright array of signage telling them that they had found the correct place. They had to wait only a few minutes before being seated near a large window at the back of the restaurant looking out onto the water. The sunset cast a brilliant display of reds, purples and oranges upon the cityscape.

"Damn, I wish my room had awesome views like this. Sure would be a change from all the silver and white."

"It reminds me of the sands of Vulcan." Spock looked longingly out the window in mourning of his lost home. Though it had been approximately four years since the incident, he did not think the pain would ever fully dissipate.

A curvaceous Andorian with silky blue skin and a long braid of shimmering silver hair took their order. Jim ordered the biggest steak they had and Spock ordered a Vulcan soup with a name Jim would have to have repeated to him later. Jim was in a talking mood and was trying to think of the best way to approach a few questions heavy in his thoughts.

"How are things with Uhura? I haven't seen her around much and I know you've really only left your room to attend to meetings with the higher ups." Jim carefully questioned, not too impressed with his lack of tact in broaching the subject.

"Lieutenant Uhura and I are no longer in a relationship and she has not spoken with me in weeks over the matter. She claimed that everything was satisfactory between us and we could continue on as friends rather than as something more intimate. However I have noticed that she has been making an effort to avoid my presence. Human women are most illogical in these matters." Spock ponders these words for a minute and Jim could do nothing but chuckle at Spock's confusion over the matter.

"Furthermore, I was under the impression that it was rude to talk about previous relationships during the human activity of 'going on a date' or at least that was what Nyota explained and how she had described an event such as what we are currently engaged." Jim choked on his drink and Spock was certain he had somehow made a grave error in his analysis of the situation. "Are you alright captain?" Jim raised his hand as an offering that he was fine. A few non-productive coughs later and Jim found his voice, albeit hoarser than usual.

"I'm fine, just surprised. I shouldn't be though, you're highly observant and I should have known that Uhura would explain some human customs." He cleared his throat once more, voice returning to its regular timbre. "I'm just surprised at you considering this as a date. I had not thought you would be so...accepting? You're ok with this being considered a date?" It was Jim's turn for confusion.

"I am indeed accepting of this evening as a date." Jim could have sworn he saw tips of Spock's ears flush a darker shade of olive green but the lighting in this room could be deceiving his vision.

"Good. That will make the rest of this evening much less awkward. I have a few questions and topics I want to talk about and now I won't feel so strange speaking honestly and openly about them."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their food. They came to a mutual, wordless agreement to eat quietly, each man finding themselves lost in his own thoughts of what had just unfolded and where the evenings discussions had yet to explore. Maybe, just maybe there was hope for something more between them.


	5. Day 05 - Kissing

Of all the dates he had ever been on, Jim would have to rate the one that just finished with Spock among the most awkward. What made matters worse was that they often shared meals and carried on conversations regularly so things should not have gone anywhere near that territory. He could have handled the silence during dinner but when the silence continued on the walk back to the hospital, he couldn't help but feel he had done something wrong. It had to have been his fault, at least if he was to hold anything true from his past. When he had asked Spock about his relationship with Uhura, he had been genuinely curious about the matter. They were his crew and there was nothing Jim cared about more in the universe, except perhaps Spock.

Finally returning to the hospital room, Jim made sure to lock the door with his custom setting that restricted all entry except for Bones' emergency override code. Just as the door to Spock's room hissed open, Jim's hand shot out, wrapping his fingers around the others forearm. Sudden warmth spread through his hand but he thought nothing more of it, determined to break the silence he had adopted and forcing Spock to do the same.

"Spock, can we talk? And please don't make me make that an order, because this is important and I will." Jim's voice remained clear and determined.

* * *

The jolt that shot through Spock from the contact with Jim was jarring and far more intense than it should have been. He felt the raw emotions rising: determination, passion and fear forming a turbulent sea with other emotions swelling to the surface like waves beating upon a shore. He lightly pulled his arm from Jim's grip and turned around and saw a face which betrayed the evenly toned voice.

"What the hell happened earlier? You were fine until I mentioned Uhura, then you talk about us on a date followed by not talking the rest of the evening."

"Might I remind you captain that you also failed to make any communication attempts during that time period. Furthermore, I believe it was you who claimed to have many questions. I was merely waiting for you to relay said inquiries." Jim pointed sharply at Spock.

"Either way, you could have said something." He dropped his finger. "You're really making me angry." The final words were spoken through clenched teeth.

"I assure you, the feeling is mutual."

"I thought Vulcans don't get mad?"

"If I recall correctly, you are one of few humans with intimate knowledge to the contrary, or do you require a reminder?" The corners of Spock's eyes creased. Jim closed the space between them, until he was inches from Spock's face. He was glaring at him, challenging him to make good on the subtle threat. Realizing neither was going to act on the challenge, Jim broke away and walked towards the couch by the windows. He sat down and crossed his legs as elegantly as he did in the captain's chair. He leaned back, resting his elbow upon the arm of the couch and letting his chin sink into his palm as fingers framed his cheek.

"Care to join me?" he made a grand sweeping gesture towards the empty seat by his side. Spock's nostrils flared, exhaling in relief. Sitting down, he made sure to leave as much space as possible, wanting to avoid contact.

"Whoever said Vulcans have no emotions never met one before and if they had, they definitely didn't spend more than five minutes with one." Jim thought aloud.

"Nor did they ever encounter a human so proficient in extracting emotional responses from other beings. Especially from races that are known for their status as a highly peaceful people or those who make efforts to suppress their emotions. I can give you the exact number of individuals as well as a list of the different species that have wished or inflicted harm upon you under such circumstances. I assure you, the numbers are astounding."

"Did you really keep track of that?" Jim glanced sideways.

"I was attempting to learn more about your...non-traditional diplomatic methods." Spock's description of Jim's penchant for breaking the rules caused the latter to burst out laughing. He had heard many descriptions of his actions over the years but that was the most unique one to grace his ears.

"I'm sorry Spock, I didn't mean to yell." his laughter had not completely disappeared, having left a glowing smile behind.

"I extend my apologies to you as well." Their gazes met and Jim's face fully sobered from the laughter.

"What happened between you and Uhura? Serious answer this time because obviously something she said is bothering you." Jim tried the question again, certain the results would be different. Spock brought his hands together and arranged his thoughts before carefully recounting the events.

"Three hours after the serum that Dr. McCoy had prepared for you took effect, Nyota and I traveled to her apartment. We shared a most delightful meal and reflected upon the series of events that commenced with the attack on London. When we finally reached the topic of your death, she became quiet and I watched her mannerisms transform as she distanced herself from me. Our relationship became the new focus of her scrutiny. In great detail, she listed the many reasons why our relationship was no longer logical and how she could no longer be involved. The culminating point being that my heart lay with another and recent events fully supported her conclusion." his voiced crackled slightly causing his words to hang in the air.

"Why did talking about my death cause Uhura to bring up your relationship?" Jim had now turned to face Spock cross-legged.

"Your death stirred within me ancient and feral emotions. Emotions which stripped every thought and all logic from me and left me with only one urge: to hunt the creature responsible for your murder and make him suffer the most painful death I could inflict. I had almost succeeded in my goal when Uhura beamed to the shuttle Khan and I were engaged in combat. She was able to soothe my rage enough to inform me that we needed Khan alive, for his genetic code held the information needed to bring you back."

Jim reached out to unclench fists that were compressed so tightly that Spock's knuckles had been bleached white and his nails were cutting into the skin on his palm. Jim's thumbs massaged veined wrists, pulsing with verdant blood, before moved towards the back of taut hands as a pleasing heat flowed through his fingers. Heat? That didn't make any sense, at least if his xenobiology professor was to be believed.

"That was the moment Uhura realized that it wasn't her you loved. A part of you died on the floor of a warp core trying to save everything he held close to his heart, your other half."

"Yes."

"Spock, do you know why I save you back on Nibiru?"

"You did it because I am your friend. You would have done the same for any of your other friends or for any member of the crew."

"No. Well yes, I would have made an effort for anyone else aboard the ship but I would never have done what I did if it wasn't you standing in the volcano. I saved you because I love you."

With Spock's hands still in his grasp, Jim closed the distance between them, locking their lips together. He tenderly nibbled and sucked on the rounded corners of the top lip, discovering every nuance the feature held. The foreign mouth opened to reciprocate the action and two tongues danced in discovery of each other. They wound around each other several times before breaking to find the far reaches of a mouth not belonging to them.

Fingers finally unfurled and pressed themselves into the palms holding them captive. Spock leaned into Jim, pushing him back until he would not move any further. His mind was craving the contact, craving the feel of the calloused fingers passing underneath his own. Sparks were flying deep in his consciousness soothing the beast that had been awoken nearly two months ago. Jim pulled his lips slightly away to find an under loved lower lip, biting into it slightly and pulling a guttural moan from its owner as he pulled away from the kiss. The lip had already begun to swell at the site and take on a pleasing olive shade. Spock still hovered on top of Jim, hands woven tightly together.

"And I shall always love you, _t'hy'la_."


	6. Day 06 - Wearing Each Others' Clothes

Dust was kicked up into the air as the cab left the smoothly paved surface and turned down a well worn dirt road. Jim stared into the distance waiting for the farmhouse of his youth to rise upon the horizon, a home which Jim had not visited since enlisting in Starfleet. It wasn't that he didn't want to visit home, it was just between unfortunately becoming Starfleet's poster boy and the ordeal that was now being dubbed the 'darkness incident' he had not had the time.

Spock sat silently beside him observing the contrast between lush green fields and barren plots of sand and dirt. Though he would never admit it, he was enjoying the scenery and the opportunity to see where Jim had grown up. Even with this joy, it also saddened him that he would never be able to do the same with Jim for the warm sands and glorious mountains of his childhood. He closed his eyes and let the humming of the hover car's engine lull him into a relaxed state. He was pulled from this mild trance only moments later by Jim poking his shoulder attempting to get his attention.

"We're here!" Jim beamed at him before shooting out the cab. It was an old house, well over two centuries according to Jim but the Kirk family had maintained it quite well during that time. Even from the outside it was apparent that the building had undergone many upgrades during its lifetime. Set back from the house, in a sprawling field, a large wind turbine cut through the air, a reflection of a time when energy harvested from wind was the trend. The structure appeared to still be in functioning condition, perhaps it was a means to collect spare energy to supplement what the house required or perhaps to power emergency systems in the event of an outage in the area.

Jim keyed in his code at the door and heard tumblers click into place as the door unlocked. He glanced at the time on the entrance display screen and noticed that a holo recording had been left. Jim tapped the notification icon and light beams began to form a perfect, miniature likeness of his mother sitting at her station.

"Hey Jimmy!" His eye twitched hearing that nickname. He hated it but he tolerated it from only two people in the universe: Winona Kirk, because she was his mother, and Leonard McCoy, as revenge for calling him Bones.

"Hopefully you receive this recording as soon as you arrive. I received your transmission regarding you and some of the Enterprise crew staying at the house. I think it's wonderful that you want to do something nice like that for your crew; it's the mark of a good captain. My most recent exploratory mission is concluding now and it looks like I will be back on Earth in a few days for some much needed shore leave." She shifted back into her chair.

"I miss you Jimmy. Transmissions and holos are great but it's been a few years since I've seen you in person and if rumors are to be believed it might be a few more. Hopefully our schedules will work out and you won't mind your mother crashing your party. Love you and safe travels." She blew a kiss and the holo figure dissolved. Jim smiled and raised the lighting levels on the entrance and living room. He missed her too, imperfections and all. She wasn't mother of the year material by any standard but he knew she tried damn hard to do the best she could for her sons.

A soft thud from behind Jim told him that Spock had finally come into the house. "I have collected our luggage from the hover cab and paid the driver the appropriate amount of credits. I also received a communication from Lieutenant Uhura saying that she will arrive within the next hour."

"Great! That gives us time to clean up and get into something other than these damn uniforms." Jim pulled at the collar of his casual dress uniform, obviously not wanting to spend any more time in it than was absolutely necessary.

"I am quite comfortable in this attire and I must admit that the majority of the garments I packed are of a similar styling." he tugged gently at the hem of his top. Jim came over and threw an arm around Spock's shoulders.

"It's too official and we're supposed to be on vacation."

"I do have garments other than my uniforms, I am sure one of those will be a sufficient alternative."

"No, I know what you packed. Your alternatives include that button down shirt and the v-neck sweater you always wear. Come on Spock, live on the wild side." Jim gives him a quick head to toe glance, "Actually, you're about the same size as me, maybe a little smaller. I've got the perfect thing."

Jim heaved his suitcase on the sofa and dug to the bottom to find what he was looking for. Finally he pulled out an old, black leather jacket. The last time he wore it was on the shuttlecraft flight that would change his life, the flight that would lead him to Starfleet and the greatest love he has ever known. He had held onto it for sentimental reasons, to remember what it was to hit rock bottom and subsequently to rise high above to rest among the stars.

"Here, catch." He threw it to Spock and looked for something to pair with the jacket. "And these too." Spock raised an eyebrow as Jim handed him a wrinkled mess of t-shirt and jeans. "There's an auto cleaner in the hall. Just hang everything in there and set it to clean, steam or whatever you want."

"I do not understand."

"Oh it's this wonderful device. Mum had it installed a couple years ago-"

"No, I understand the function and operation of the device. What I do not understand is the purpose of me wearing clothing so different from that which I normally don." Jim just shook his head and raised his hands.

"It would just be nice seeing you wearing something a lot less formal. And like I said before, we are on vacation." He shrugged his shoulders knowing that he had just offered one of the weakest responses he had ever offered for support.

"If we are to go on the basis that this is a vacation and therefore I should dress in garments different from my norm, I can only insist upon the same of you. As you seem to be well aware of what I have available, you are free to select whatever you desire."

"That seems...only logical." Jim muttered. Spock placed his suitcase next to Jim's and let him scour its contents. Jim quickly searched for the dark slacks and navy blue v-neck sweater that Spock always seemed so fond of wearing when he was off duty. "Good?"

* * *

Jim was the first changed and he opted to sink into the large armchair in the living room until Spock came back. The pants were a bit tight on him but they hugged his muscular bottom half nicely enough and the sweater was the comfiest thing he had ever worn. No wonder Spock wore it all the time! A creaky floorboard caught Jim's attention and his jaw dropped at the figure standing there.

"I must say that I am not opposed to wearing such an outfit again." An open jacket revealed a loose white t-shirt tucked into the dark wash jeans. "The looseness of the shirt and pants allow for a great range of motion and the jacket provides an additional layer of warmth which is much appreciated."

"It just needs one last thing." Jim moved to Spock and mussed up his hair a bit. "Now you look the part." A soft blush crept across his face and their eyes locked. Just as they were about to move for a kiss, the doorbell sounded.

"The lieutenant truly has the most impeccable timing." a green tinge crept across Spock's face and ears.

"Sarcasm now…really?"

"It seemed oddly appropriate."

* * *

"Hello Captain." Uhura smiled at Jim from the other side of the door. "Glad to see you're do-"

"Well good greetings to you laddie! It's been far too long." A rather cheery Scotty plowed past Uhura and pulled Jim into a rather painful bear hug. "Don't ever pull a stunt like that again, alright? I don't think any of us could handle that again. 'Specially not Mr. Spock, he was a right mess." He pulled away and Jim could see tears forming in his eyes. Jim could also see that Uhura had crossed her arms menacingly and a fire had been ignited in her eyes.

"Speak o' the devil, look at you! Must've lost a bet with this fellow or something." Scotty marched past Jim to admire the fine leatherwork on the jacket Spock was borrowing.

"I know that outfit Jim. You were wearing it at the bar the first time I met you. Except the last time I saw it, the shirt was covered in your blood." She turned from Spock to further analyze Jim. "And that sweater you're wearing, I bought for Spock the first winter we were together."

"You have wonderful taste, Nyota." He offered his best smile and Uhura gave him a playful, but hard, punch on the shoulder.

"Don't call me Nyota." She smirked as she walked past him, close enough to let her ponytail softly whip him across the face. She put her arms around Scotty's and moved them towards the couch.


End file.
